This is something I have been using since I was 17. The reason why it stuck, is because I had one moment where I hesitated, about 10 mins. This hesitation with the feeling it followed after. Plus the regret of not having gone for it; lasted so long and annoyed me so much. that from then on I told myself heck, let’s go for it, the worst that can happen is that I get a no.
Now here is the story.
One afternoon, with a group of friends we were going to the movies. We took the bus, and at the front of the bus was this guy (remember I was 17). He was cute , with one friend. Throughout the whole bus ride I was thinking I want to talk to him & ask for his number, no I can’t, yes, no, yes, no…. I even pretend to take a picture of my friend with him in the background. A friend spotted it after and laughed. In the end I did not talk to him.
This was not the problem on it’s own.
We got off the bus and went to the cinema. The problem was that during the 1h30mins the movie lasted, I could not stop thinking. All about the fact that I had not gone and talked to the guy. While watching a movie, I am completely present, definitely not this time.
I did not pay as much attention to the movie. Instead scenarios where playing out in my head. About what if I had gone talk to him, he might have not given me his number, he might have.
It was the inaction on my part that bothered me. I was not too bothered by the idea of rejection. Even if that would have happen it was a guy on a bus, and the likelihood of us crossing again was slim.
Since then this stays in my mind:
If you don’t ask you will definitely not get it. When you ask, you are more likely to get it.
PS. a no if not a bad thing. It is a word, and most importantly it has nothing to do with you.
Just go for it, the “worst” you will receive is a no, the BEST you will receive is what you asked for sometimes even more
You might also like this post — Tools for confidence
So get asking!
