The only person that has any true control over your life is you, no one else. Why do you then give control out to others?
By that I mean, why do you blame others? others are not just people, but circumstances, happening, surroundings.
Yes there are things that are out of your control, and there’s a long list at that. Personally for those, I just don’t focus on them. I don’t give them time or thought.
I focus on things that are in my control. And yes for you they will be very different than for me.
First do you know what’s in you control? and secondly, with the capacity and resourcefulness that you have, what can you do about it?
Blaming others is easy, because hey, all you’ve got to do is flip the situation around and say I can’t do this because … insert your blame. Taking ownership, well, that requires for your ego to get out of your way. And the first time you do that, it might be painful as you’ll need to take a good look at what you’ve allowed to happen in your life. (and again yes, there’s a lot that’s out of your control, that’s not what I’m talking about here)
There’s a saying I heard a few years back and that felt empowering to me:
“When a mistake has been done, hope that it is your fault. Because when it’s your fault, it means you can solve it.” — you gain the power back to act as you’d like to, and chose what you want.
Here’s a tool you can start using to get out of a blame mindset and shift to an ownership mindset:
instead of using — “I can’t because …”
use — “How can I … make this happen.”
this alone will make you mind think in an solution oriented way.